Blog 5

If  I were to revise my essay, I would focus on incorporating how my friend was, bring in some memories within the essay. For the reader to have a feel of how she was before any of this happened to my friend. Since I spoke about her birthday, how she was always laughing, I can mention the good memories I have with her and elaborate on how she was, like having the reader have her as a friend as well. I also received the suggestion of how I haven't gone to the cemetery since then and how I would feel if I were to go back. I definitely went back into my essay and added a couple of good memories I have with her. Over all the suggestions that were given to me, was very helpful and it made me want to go back and add more things.